My Title

Uh, Hi there.

It’s a funny thing coming home. Nothing changes. Everything looks the same, feels the same, even smells the same. Then you realize what’s changed is you!

—The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (via onlinecounsellingcollege)



ok, but hear me out, what better way to expose a serial killer than to woo him? have dinner with him. convince him you’re his friend then SURPRISE, make out with him. sleep with him. move in with him so you can watch his every move. he can’t hide much if you’re already in his pants.

do it for justice

(via hahahowaboutno)


i went to a new school when i started second grade and i still remember what my parents said to me as they dropped me off on my first day at the new school: “dont do your yoshi impression, it’s weird and you’ll make no friends.”

(via robot)



napoleon bonaparte


more like napoleon BORN2PARTY


I used this on a powerpoint for school and no one laughed except my friend and I

(via robot)


i followed my heart and it led me into the fridge

(via robot)


i broke up with my gym
we were just not working out

(via robot)

  • test administrator: when you finish your test go back and read over your answers
  • me: i'm never goin back the past is in the past